i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
