Do you still have your period?
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Randomize
