I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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