I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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