So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize
