There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
