Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
