i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
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