No, you can still breathe under the balls.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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