Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Randomize
