living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Randomize
