i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
