I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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