you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize