Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
