True but thats because hes a fetus.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
Randomize
