im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
they need to just BURY HIM!
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
