I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
