The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Themes for tonight: men who look like bill Gates but sing smash mouth songs. Women who's names are also food. Haircuts that DO NOT cover bald spots.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
