I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
