Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
