Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Verdict: uncircumcised.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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