Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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