thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
