The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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