I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
