First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
