Well douche your snatch and let's go!
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
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