Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
We left an ass print on the piano.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
