Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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