So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Randomize
