i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
