im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
