found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Randomize
