I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
