I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
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