people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
Randomize
