well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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