butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize