i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
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