I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Randomize
