this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
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