Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
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