It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
