school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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