why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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