So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
