So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize