I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
