Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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