I think i peed on brittanys purse
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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