Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
