just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
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