it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
His hands were made for my vagina.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
