i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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