I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize