watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
