it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Randomize
